Frequently Asked Questions

Yes – all discussions with mediators are confidential unless serious concerns are raised about the welfare of children when the mediator has a duty to contact Children’s Services(formerly Social Services)

We have one other exception to confidentiality – the Proceeds of Crime Act. This covers any illegal financial dealings e.g. benefit fraud, tax evasion. If we become aware of these kinds of irregularities, we have to stop mediation.

If you are worried about confidentiality issues, ask the mediator at your initial meeting who will explain more.

We summarise in writing any agreed proposals you make in mediation for you to share with your solicitor and the court if they are involved. It also means that if you do not reach agreement on all the issues and go to court afterwards, then neither of you can refer to discussions in the mediation unless you both agree. This does not apply to factual financial information which can be passed to solicitors and used in court.

CFFM is a not for profit service and registered charity. We are pledged to make mediation available to all regardless of ability to pay. However we must obviously cover our costs to remain financially viable. Our charging policy is as follows:

CFFM is a not for profit service and registered charity. We are pledged to make mediation available to all regardless of ability to pay. However we must obviously cover our costs to remain financially viable.

There are 3 main ways to fund mediation which are detailed here.

There are no hidden costs. You pay for each session in advance. No charge is made for letters or telephone calls. At the end of the mediation process if it involves financial matters there will be a small charge should you choose to have a Memorandum of Understanding drafted, setting out the final proposals.

When we receive the initial referral we will aim to see you for the individual assessment meeting within 2 weeks.

Any further mediation sessions will then be arranged at a timescale to suit both of you and the mediator The number of sessions can vary – if your are sorting out finances and children’s matters(“All Issues Mediation”) then the average is between 3 and 5 meetings.

If you are only discussing children’s matters then 2-3 joint sessions is usually enough to resolve matters. However, the time needed depends on:

• Individual circumstances
• The number and complexity of the issues that need resolving
• How flexible you can be regarding days/times for appointments
• Most sessions last for 1 to 1.5 hours

Safety for all is a vital principle of mediation and you will always be given individual time to discuss this and other issues with a mediator. You need to be able to negotiate freely in mediation and not feel intimidated. The mediator will always hep to ensure that you each have an equal say and that the other party does not pressurise or talk over you..

There are also special arrangements which may help with some of your concerns to enable mediation to proceed such as “shuttle mediation” where you do not meet directly.

However, if you have suffered  domestic abuse or feel intimidated by your ex-partner mediation may not be right for you, see Domestic Abuse.

• Children like to be informed and they appreciate having their views and opinions heard but do not usually want to be responsible for the overall decisions. Many children have practical suggestions to make.
• We offer to see children of parents who are using the mediation service. With parents’ permission we see children for one or possibly two sessions, on the following basis:
• We assure them that their views will be taken into account as far as possible.
• We offer confidentiality to the child (but we find that most children wish some of their views to be fed back into the decision-making process);
• We feed back to parents in a mediation session any issues that children wish to raise. This information can then form part of the picture when parents are deciding how best to make plans for everyone in the future. Children and young people value the opportunity to have a voice in the decision-making process.

Mediation can be used to try to avoid bringing a situation to court or during a court case to try to shorten it and resolve the dispute before the court makes its decision.

Courts expect that you try to sort out your disagreements with the help of mediation) before applying to court . This applies to both financial and children’s disputes.  This makes sense as accessing mediation is always quicker than applying to court and usually costs less.  Also conflict between parents/carers is harmful to children emotionally and for their brain development. Coming to court is also stressful and likely to increase bad feelings between you and the other parent/carer, which could then impact on the child.  See more detail re what a leading judge has said on this https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/PFD_letter_to_parents.pdf

The first step is a Mediation Information and assessment session(MIAM)

It is not essential, but advisable. Mediators are experienced in legal matters but must remain impartial at all times and will therefore not give you specific advice about your own legal rights or the best course of action for you. We can give you information about the law and how the legal system works. We shall always inform you when we think you need to consult a solicitor. This may be during mediation to help you consider proposals or more commonly at the end of the mediation to make sure the solution you have reached with your partner is best for you. You may also need a solicitor to draw up an order for the court to make your decisions legally binding.

There is some help available with Legal costs linked to mediation

Help with Family Mediation is a separate service provided by a solicitor to support the family mediation process if you also qualify financially (similar to mediation Legal Aid eligibility rules). It is limited funding for legal advice and assistance in making mediated agreements legally binding. You will need to have attended at least one mediation session and concluded mediation within 4 months of applying for Help with Mediation.

Ask your mediator about this at the end of the session. They will complete a form called ‘CW5 Help With Mediation’ for you to take to your chosen solicitor.

The following link explains this in more detail:
http://www.justice.gov.uk/downloads/forms/legal-aid/civil-forms/cw5-version-3-april-2013.pdf

Legal Aid for a Solicitor to represent you at court?

This is more limited than it used to be and is not generally available unless you are a victim of domestic violence, or your child is at risk of abuse from your ex-partner.

The following link explains this in more detail:
http://www.justice.gov.uk/legal-aid-for-private-family-matters

Therefore, it generally makes sense to try mediation first in terms of cost and speed.

Click here to find out more about Legal Aid.

Our experienced mediators come from a wide range of backgrounds(legal, social work, counselling etc). Some have worked in this field for over 20 years . All have a full understanding of the legal divorce process, children’s needs, domestic abuse and finance and property matters.

Read more about us.

Family Mediation is a confidential process, but where there are concerns about the safety of a child, the protection of children overrides the principles of both confidentiality and parental decision-making.  The mediator will explain this to you at your first meeting, called a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM).  You will also confirm that you understand this at the start of your first mediation session, when you sign an agreement to mediate which contains the following sentence

“We understand that discussions during mediation sessions are made on the basis that they are both a) confidential and b) will not be referred to in evidence in any court proceedings about the same issues. However, the promise of confidentiality does not prevent the mediator disclosing information where there is a substantial risk to life, health, or safety of children, ourselves, or anyone else. If such risk is identified, then the Mediation Service has a duty to pass this information to Children’s Services (formerly Social Services) and other relevant agencies”

Where an issue is raised which causes a mediator to reasonably believe that a child is at risk of harm or significant harm, the  mediator must assess the level of risk immediately.

• If the risk is immediate and significant the mediator will immediately contact the relevant Children’s Services team for the local authority where the child lives  If they are already involved  the mediator may need to find out more  from the relevant team especially whether you as parents are free to make your own decisions
• The mediator should speak to their  relevant supervisor straight away, as soon as practicable.
• In the most serious of cases, if the mediator believes the child is at immediate risk or a criminal offence is going to be committed, they must contact the Police,

Where appropriate the mediator should consider following up any telephone disclosure with something in writing and should do so within 24 hours where appropriate.

The mediator must immediately (or within a reasonable time such as the circumstances allow) bring the mediation to an end.

View CFFM Safeguarding and Child protection Policy.